Eyes wide open

I'm feeling inspired.

I went to go support one of my girlfriends at her bikini competition this past weekend. 

I did that 5 years ago, too. 

And got hooked. 

And started competing myself. 

So, she was my initial introduction and inspiration to the sport. 

And it's interesting watching shows now, knowing, empathizing, with the competitors. Understanding what they are feeling. What they went through to step on that stage. 

Because some of them make it look soooooo easy.

Like posing. 

(ummm...Nicole Wilkins!)

Walking in those heels with grace.

It is soooooo FREAKIN' hard.

Especially when you are used to wearing flats all day!

And anyone who knows me well will tell you that "graceful" is not a word they would necessarily use to describe me ... LOL!

And the bodybuilders and their poses?

That's no joke.

It's like a workout. Seriously. Constantly squeezing those muscles, making them pop. That's why they are shaking on stage.

Not to mention that they are dehydrated and hungry...

Hangry, really. LOL.

So, I'm still inspired and motivated to do another show. Even with the knowledge of what goes on behind-the-scenes and how hard it can get.

Going in with EYES WIDE OPEN.

No sugar.

No alcohol.

A very strict diet.

You can't really eat out as much, if at all.

There are many things you have to temporarily give up.

You're constantly tired. 

But I'm curious. I'm curious to step on stage again and see what has transpired under this layer of fat over the past few years. 

[and that's not a self-criticism. That's literally what the dieting does: reveals the muscle underneath that protective layer of fat]

We'll see. 

Wedding first.

Because that's what I've been training for...

With my eyes wide open. 

Speaking of which. We applied for a very important wedding-related certificate this morning… 😃

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!

Today's back workout:

Do what makes you happy. 

Be motivated by what inspires you. 

Be your own superhero

Sometimes we just need to be our own superhero.

My future husband has really gotten me more into Marvel and DC Comics films. 

Like, it's a thing.

We try to see the movie the day it comes out. Even if it turns into a late night.

We've been together through...

Deadpool

Civil War

Dr. Strange 

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Logan

Wonder Woman

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Thor Ragnorak

Lots of good flicks.

But it got me to thinking about the qualities of these superheros.

Courage. Ability to face fear. Honesty. A strong moral compass. Intelligence. Motivation. A sense of responsibility. High tolerance for pain (!!!!). Fighting spirit. Commitment. Compassion. An element of uniqueness. Loyalty. Humor. 

I think these are all qualities a lot of as naturally embody.

You had no idea you were a superhero, did you?  

The cape’s in the closet, right?

LOL.

All joking aside, we are ALL superheroes. Seriously. You are a superhero to someone and you don’t even know it. Especially if you interact with kids in some way. Because a lot of the time they look at adults as superheroes.

Even if you don’t deal with kids a lot, recognize your own inner-superhero-badassness. Because it’s there. 

For realz.

This morning’s haphazard hamstring workout (I showed up. That is all. LOL.)

Be your own superhero.

Do what makes you happy. 

Abs are made where?

I've been watching a lot of superhero movies recently.

Thor. Wonder Woman. Wolverine. Civil War. Superman.

And when you look at a lot of these actors who portray super heros, they really LOOK the part.

Why?

Because they look strong. Physically capable. BIG.

And in those shirtless scenes (for the guys, of course!) ... RIPPED.

Those 6 packs are popping! Vascularity going!

And then we look in the mirror and think "Why don't I look like that? How on earth do they even look like that?"

They work hard. They train hard.

Trust me, none of them were born that way.

Thor:

Wolverine:

Captain America:

Peter Quill: 

And the key ingredient? 

They EAT CLEAN. 

Just take a look at this video interview of various actors about their roles and how they prepared for them.

"The Rock", Chris Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman, Sly Stallone, Ben Affleck, etc...

The over-arching theme is: diet.

It all comes down to the diet.

And eating to meet your goals.

Clean proteins, clean carbs and veggies.

No sugar.

No alcohol.

Proper meal timing. Frequent meals. Appropriate portion sizes.

That's it. Literally. It's ALL about the diet.

I know that might be hard to hear, but it's the truth.

If you want to transform your body, you will temporarily have to give up certain foods you may enjoy. Eating the way you enjoy. 

It takes time, but it is possible. 

I can definitely speak from experience. 

Here is a throwback of what my diet plans used to look like:

Crazy. I know. But that's reality.
(also remember this is literally a snapshot and tailored to what my physique looked like 3 weeks out from a show)

So, do not be deceived what you see on the screen or in magazines.

It takes work.

But it so worth it.

And boy do they WORK.

Today's shoulder workout:

Do what you love.

Hard core.

That's why pencils have erasers...

For anyone who is keeping track of this blog, I blog on the days that I workout.

That's how I keep myself accountable. 

And I worked out yesterday.

And did not post anything. 

I had something in the works.

But by the end of the day I was tired and just not in the mood.

I know, lame excuse.

(insert inner critic)

My hormones are a little crazy, too, because it's getting to be "that time" of the month (you know what that's like, ladies!) and just about everything was pissing me off or irritating me. Or both. 

Fun times.

I do a pretty good job of containing it, especially professionally. But when I come home I just want to melt down and cry most of the time. Over nothing. LOL. Seriously. Nothing. There is nothing I am crying about in particular. I just need the release of crying.

My fiance is great in supporting me in that. And learning about that more "delicate" time of the month and that it is NOTHING PERSONAL.

LOL.

Anyway.

Enough talk about girly things.

But it got me to thinking about letting go of perfection. It's a constant struggle for me. I try to "manage" it just about every day.

That inner struggle. Letting the inner-critic subside. Not beating myself up about certain things. Not trying to get it right ALL THE TIME.

Like, my perfectionist is feeling "less than perfect" right now for not having blogged on a day I worked out. I know. Not a big deal. AT ALL.

But that's the dilemma, right? Those are the inner-workings that we are challenged with. 

It almost doesn't matter what it is. Big or small. That perfectionist wants to "do it right". For it to be perfect.

I will say that I have been better at letting things go. But sometimes it creeps up on me. Especially when I am feeling tired or more vulnerable.

And I remind myself to be gentle. No one is perfect. And it doesn't have to be perfect.

"No one is perfect...that's why pencils have erasers."

That has been the biggest piece of wedding advice I have gotten as well.

My wedding day is not going to be perfect. That's just how it goes. It's unpredictable. Stuff happens.

But the best part? 

NO ONE WILL KNOW. At least not the guests.

Because they haven't been planning your wedding the past several weeks and are not privy to every single last detail you have plotted out.

So it's alllllll good.

Breathe and let it go...

Yesterday's leg workout:

Be imperfect.

Let things be imperfect.

Do what makes you happy.

The importance of separation

I had a fabulous weekend.

As did my fiance.

We spent time with people we love.

And did things we love.

Michael had his Bachelor weekend in Miami and enjoyed some fancy dinners, nights out on the town, and college football ("It's all about the U!").

Me? I indulged in a little introversion (movies, wine, and kitty love) and had a very intimate Bridal Shower.

It was perfect. 

And it got me to thinking...

Ruh-roh!  

Thinking?!?!

Oh no!

LOL.

All joking aside ... it got me to thinking about how important it is in a relationship for both partners to do their own thing. To be themselves. To have their independence.

There are many ways we are different. Many ways we compliment each other. And we need to allow space for those parts to breathe.

I am not at all into football. I didn't go to a college football town so it was never part of my social culture. And I never lived in one place (let alone one country!), so I didn't develop an attachment to my "state" team. 

Michael? HUGE Miami Canes fan! I joke that I don't think he will change the wallpaper on his cell phone or computer until we have children. Maybe once we're married, but I'm not counting on it. For him it's Miami ALL THE TIME. Because he loves it. 

And that's OK.

This is my take on it:

I own this shirt. LOL!

Me? I love music. I love musicals. I get ALL geeked out about music stuff. Michael jokes that if there's classical music playing in the background anywhere (movie soundtrack, elevator, train station, department store), I will be sure to tell him exactly what it is. And then get super excited and geeked out about it and tell him everything he needs to know about that piece of music or chord progression we happened to hear. 

There are many other ways that we are different, which I won't bore you with, but I realize how important those differences are.

Because you don't want to marry a version of yourself, right?

And doing your own thing is important. Hanging out with your girlfriends/guy friends, IS important.

He and I have both been in relationships where we were made to feel bad about doing such things. Co-dependence I think they call it? Not fun.

"To be in relationship, interdependence is the way, not independence or dependency." ~Micki McWade

Did I miss him? Of course. And I'm glad he's home. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit to enjoying this time on my own.

And it makes this time together even more meaningful and special. 

Interdependence is key. Autonomy is important. Separation is a good thing. Going off and doing your own thing ... a must. 

So go do that.

Oh, and today's back workout:

Do what makes you happy.

Especially on your own. 

Just me and my cat. And wine. And Netflix. #introvert

I won’t lie.

I love my nights in.

On weekends especially.

And this weekend?

At least two weekend nights in. Woohoo!

I was up at 4 a.m. to drive my fiance to the airport for his Bachelor Weekend. 

In Miami. Slightly jealous.

Will I miss him?

Of course.

But I am really looking forward to some alone time.

And that’s one of the many ways we compliment each other.

I’m naturally more introverted (even though I have to lead an extroverted life with my teacher gig and all…) and he is extroverted. So I am very happy to let him go off and hang out with his friends and just stay in. 

Seriously. That’s how I replenish.

Just me, some Netflix (or girly movie), my cat, and a glass of wine.

And that is EXACTLY what I am doing tonight. 

Here’s the kitty…

The Chinese takeout…

And my all time guilty pleasure…

And my leg workout from 5am this morning...

Oh, and it’s 30 days exactly till the big day.

EEEEEEEEEEEK!

Replenish.

Do you.

Do what makes you happy. 

Like a kidney stone...

Sometimes we have our "off" days.

And low moments.

And ARGH.

Or UGH.

Or WAAAAAAH...

Or W.T.F.?!?!?!?!

Yup.

I've been having a lot of those. 

Yes, I post lots of positive/inspiring stuff on social media. But that's mainly in the morning to pump myself up for the day. And it's real. I'm generally in a pretty good mood in the morning. 

But by the end of the day...

Being a teacher is HARD.

Dealing with private students who don't practice is ANNOYING.

Planning a wedding is STRESSFUL. 

I've been told the last few weeks before are even more stress-inducing.

UGH.

Where's the wine?

[No, wait. Still have to fit into that dress...]

So I just embrace those moods. The "wedding blues" I have started to call it. It's not easy working 1 1/2 jobs and planning the most important (and most expensive!) party you are ever going to throw!

But denying those feelings won't help. And make things worse. Because they just come out sideways and in ways you don't want them to or mean them to.

And we're not alone in those moods. Wedding planning or not.

Everyone feels burnt out/sad/pissed/ tired/drained/cry-me-a-river/stressed (dessert spelled backwards!) at some point. It's important to remember that.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

So embrace it. This too shall pass.

Breathe...

Today's shoulder workout:

Do what makes you happy.

Even when you're in a bad mood.

Especially when you're in a bad mood.