#я також

I love FB for connecting with people and seeing what they're doing and their kids and cute cat photos and inspirational quotes and funny memes and silly videos...

But man. Scrolling through and seeing all the #metoo (#я також in Ukrainian) posts has been heart breaking. 

Truly. Breaks my heart right open. 

I was also someone who posted #metoo on their wall in solidarity because I too have been affected by sexual assault and harassment.

It is something I repressed for a long long time until my emotions (and body) forced me to finally look at it and do the healing work I wasn't ready for before. The body is incredible and will build defenses to get through trauma. For survival. But at some point, those defenses no longer serve and healing needs to happen on a deep level.

So I did just that. It is ugly, hard, messy, nasty, painful work. But I did it. And stumbled upon a body-based therapy which helped me begin the process to heal and unify my body, mind and spirit.

"Healing is not an overnight process. It is a daily cleansing of pain, 

it is a daily healing of your life."

~Leon Brown

That being said, I met a lot of people who have been abused in all different ways. Physically. Sexually. Emotionally. Psychologically. Major and minor ways. Multiple and single instances. Obvious and subtle.

They have been abused.

And they have been abusers. 

That was my big "aha!" moment. 

Something I had never considered: abusers have also been abused.

And that is often the root of why they abuse. They may not know it. It may not be conscious. (and I am also very aware for the people for whom it is very conscious and malicious.)

They are just little children still in their pain trying to reclaim their power. Reclaim the power that was taken away from them. Trying to hide their vulnerability. Trying to protect themselves. Trying to survive. 

A lot of the time (most of the time), they haven't done the "work" they need to to heal those parts. 

And then they become adults and that pain gets acted out in a very distorted way. 

Sometimes they have only seen abuse modeled at home. They didn't grow up in a loving environment.

I'm not saying this to justify their actions. Absolutely not. What they have done is wrong.

But just to better understand where it comes from. To hold compassion for that little girl or little boy that is just scared and in a lot of pain. That little girl or little boy whose adult self cannot fully love them in this moment and take care of them. 

(and all the social messaging that boys get about "boys don't cry" and "be tough" and "no pain, no gain" and "be a man!" ... no wonder they have trouble accessing those parts that need to be healed!)

It's just another lens to see it through.

It helps me understand it better and try to wrap my head around all the terrible headlines we see.

We are in a world filled with A LOT of pain.

Bad things happen to good people.

It sucks.

Bad things may have happened to you, too. 

And for that I am truly sorry. 

You are not alone. Lots of #metoos for many many things out there.

And this is truly a call to action to repair our mental health system and to take better care of the mental health of our fellow global citizens. Because that is the root of the problem. Not guns. It's the person using the gun. Not the act of abuse. It's the person doing the abuse. 

Sorry for this downer of a post. 

On that happy note ... today's leg workout:

Be happy.

Do what makes you happy.