Being a kid

I love Halloween.

I'm not sure what it is about it.

The excitement in the air. The kids and their costumes. The adults and their creative costumes.

We had "Storybook Character Day" at school today.

And then we had a little parade to participate in a school-wide walk. It was soooo much fun! The kids were excited, the teachers were excited, everyone was excited.

I feel like Halloween often gives us "serious" adults an excuse to be kids again. To dress up. To be silly. To use our imaginations. That's what I like about Halloween. Not the candy and the crazy Halloween adult parties. It's the child-like nature of it.

And being an elementary school music teacher has definitely created more "play" in my life. Playing games, dancing, having fun. Being more like a kid.

Like my world has totally opened up to all these kids songs I didn't know existed. 

Because I don't have kids (yet...), so how would I know about such things?

Like "Pop See Ko" by Koo Koo Kangaroo.

It's so silly and goofy ... but the kids LOVE IT.

O.M.G.

You put this video on in any lower grades (K-2) and they just EAT. IT. UP.

Seriously.

So our Music Team dressed up as "Koo Koo Kangaroo". With a little extra twist. Because there is no kangaroo in the video. LOL.

Or fun dances like this Halloween Freeze Game:

Or Sesame Street songs:

Or Pete the Cat:

Or The Wiggles:

Don't get me started on "Just Dance"...

What makes you tap into being a kid again? 

Is it singing silly songs? Dressing up in a silly way? Dancing around the room to silly songs?

Another thing I've started to do is wear silly socks. Because kids sit on the carpet and can see my socks if I'm sitting in a chair or criss-cross on the floor with them. 

It makes me happy.

And feel like a kid.

What do you do?

Today's leg workout:

Be a kid.

Do what makes you happy.

Why I don't do cardio

"How much cardio do you do?"

Ummmmm...none?

And I have a few good reasons.

#1. It bores me.

#2. It's not necessary for my current fitness goals.

#3. It bores me. 

LOL.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not "anti-cardio" by any means. For me, cardio supplements my goals. And at the moment, my goals are more aesthetic (to look hot in my wedding dress!) and to be strong and mobile and have functional fitness. Gotta be able to dance the night away, walk a ton during my honeymoon and keep up with these kiddos I teach all day long!

"You mean, you don't even run?"

Nope.

Not any more. 

I'm not training for a race, so I don't need to run. 

If I want to do it for my own pleasure, that's a different story...

When I was doing my marathon and Ironman training, of course all my training revolved around those three sports, which is primarily cardio based. I spent two days lifting weights. That's it. I trained each sport 3 times a week, so that's 9 workouts right there, plus the 2 lifting days. 11 workouts! A week. Now I barely do 4. So that was PLENTY. 

And I was LEAN. Boy oh boy.

(after my last race in 2010...had a bit of an accident)

Now I’ve got a little more mass on me.

(with the baby girl of some tri friends taken this last summer in Paris...)

Another reason I don't do cardio is that I don't want my body to adapt to the cardio. Why? Because I want to use it as a secret weapon later on. Muah-ha-ha-ha... 😉 

Your body adapts to any exercise rather quickly and once it does, benefits begin to plateau. If you jump on the treadmill 3 days a week for 30 minutes for weeks and weeks and weeks, you can be sure your body has adapted to it. If you're going to do cardio, at least mix it up. Try different machines, different speeds, different intervals. The key is to keep your body guessing. 

I understand that cardiovascular fitness is super important too (for the heart and lungs especially), but I think there is often a misconception that in order to look "toned" and lose a lot of weight, one must do cardio. And only cardio. Yes it helps, but from my personal experience, I think the easiest way to get that look is to grow your muscles and reduce body fat. Lifting weights with a proper exercise and nutrition program will make your muscles bigger (not bulky) which will increase your metabolism more than cardio. You'll end up burning more calories day to day and reduce body fat so you can see those beautiful muscles you are working hard to build.

And a final reason I don’t do cardio…I want to be in and out. 45 mins tops. If I add cardio…UGH. And I will. One day. When I need it. But for now, I am going to bask in my itty bitty 35-45 min workouts.

So hit those weights! Weights over cardio is what I say!

Today’s back workout:

Pump that iron.

Or do cardio.

Do what makes you happy.

Like a tree...

I had a private piano student ask me a very revealing question during his lesson last night. He's a senior in high school and had commented on always being told by teachers, "This is just preparing you for __________".

In fact, my co-worker and I just had a long talk with our 5th graders about how we are preparing them for middle school. 

My student continued, "In middle school they say they're preparing you for high school, in high school for college, in college for a job, that job leads to another job ... what happens when you retire? Do you ever stop working towards something?"

I find this question fascinating. And my answer to him was, "No, you never stop working towards something. Not if you want to continue growing."

Because it's true, isn't it? 

I mean unless all you want to do is sit on the beach and drink margaritas…

(that doesn’t sound so bad some days! LOL!)

But we are always working towards something.

Like my father, for example. Successful diplomat with a 30+ year career. What did he do when he retired? Sit on the beach and drink margaritas? Nope. More of the same! But as a contractor. Because he wanted to continue growing. And even now, he has decided to do less but still does outreach work that is deeply meaningful to him.

So, working towards something doesn’t really stop. Not if you want to grow. And I think most of us want to continue growing on some level, as subtle or unconscious as it might be.

Keep growing!

Like a tree.

Do what you love!

 

Don’t stop.

Speaking of growing…

Today’s leg workout:

Do what makes you happy.

Growth is not optional.

TBT: What's up with that tan?

I recently had a Facebook memory pop up from 3 years ago when I had won 1st place at a figure competition. Actually, that was the second to last show I competed in. It's been awhile!

But I look at that picture and the tan just cracks me up. It truly does.

And you might be wondering "What's up with that tan?"

Why do bodybuilders have to tan anyway?

Basically, it helps muscles seem more prominent. You can see the definition more on darker skin tones than on lighter ones. And bodybuilding competitions is all about muscle definition and symmetry, so getting a spray tan is a MUST. A natural sun tan just won't cut it.

In addition, the lights used on stage (most competitions are at a high school or venue with a stage) will wash you out. The darker the skin, the easier it is for the judges to evaluate a competitor's body conditioning and muscular development. You want the judges to see the lines that complement your physique by attaining a golden color that will be captured by this type of lighting.

Because up close, you look DARK. Even people who are dark skinned need to get a tan. 

Usually you get a tan the day before a show. Sometimes the day of. I have tried both. 

And because I'm so white, I usually need 2-3 coats.  

The week before a show, you first have to prepare your skin by using an exfoliater. If not, all that dead skin will show up and make the tan look uneven. Gross!

There are tanning companies that come to competitions. OR you can do it yourself. 

I have done it both ways but am finding I prefer just having someone else do it for me. 

So you go from this...

To this...

(and I was SUPER light back then! My normal bodyweight is closer to 127 lbs)

This is after only one coat:

And the second...

We don't apply the tan on our face though. We use make-up for that. So the white face and tan body looks REALLY bizarre. 

My hands and feet get super darker because the tan will drip down...

And you get weird lines like this:

Or blend in with a leaf...

It's really kind of disgusting. The tan is one of my least favorite parts.

But after you put on your stage make-up (she is about as white as I was to begin with!)...

And fake nails...

You look like this on stage:

(I'm 3rd from the right)

Doesn't seem that dark, right? 

That's what I mean. The lights really wash you out. And it becomes very obvious who got their tan right and who didn't.

After a show you can take a shower and you look awesome. Like you just had a lovely getaway weekend somewhere warm. Without the sunburn. But dark feet is a yucky side effect. Again. GROSS.

So, just a small glimpse in the realities of bodybuilding spray tans.

And today's shoulder workout:

Do what makes you happy. 

Even with a tan.

What I'm listening to, Vol. 2

I love listening to music, don't you?

That's about all that gets me through my gym workouts some days.

Especially first thing in the morning when the coffee has not quite kicked in yet. 

Like, if I forget my music or forgot to charge my listening device, the thought of not doing my workout actually crosses my mind. Seriously. The music is what really pumps me up.

So, in line with my September post, here are some tunes I have been jamming to this month during my workouts (in no particular order):

Radioactive -- Imagine Dragons

Imma Be -- The Black Eyed Peas

Sail -- AWOLNATION

Come with Me Now -- KONGOS

SexyBack -- Justin Timberlake

Ride on Time -- Black Box

Beat It -- Fall Out Boy and John Mayer

Don't You Worry Child (feat. John Martin) -- Swedish House Mafia

How I feel -- Flo Rida

Winner -- Jamie Foxx, Justin Timberlake & T.I.

Wings -- Little Mix

Free Your Mind -- En Vogue

And today's leg workout:

Listen to music you love.

Do what makes you happy. 

Work hard, play hard.

I had a fantastic Bachelorette weekend. 

Actually, it was more than I anticipated and pretty freakin’ awesome.

It reminded me of the phrase “Work hard, play hard.”

And I did just that. It was a nice break from reality. Indulging in the Vegas experience.

But now I’m ready to get back to reality.

Get back to the grind, as they say.

We are in the home stretch being 6 weeks away from our wedding. It will be a very busy 6 weeks. But I’m ready for it. 

And this Bachelorette weekend was exactly what I needed to give me that extra drive.

Work hard. Play hard. 

It’s all about balance.

Sometimes we go from one side of the pendulum to the other, but then we find ourselves back int he middle. That’s the sweet spot.

And I think it’s necessary to go to those extremes sometimes in order to find that sweet spot. 

So here we go!

I had a little left over “sparkle” from my weekend fun…

Today’s back workout:

Work hard. Play hard. 

Do what makes you happy. 

It's OK to be a little bit selfish

I think the word "selfish" often gets a bad rap.

I think it also has to do with context and how someone being selfish affects others.

Dictionary.com's definition is: 

1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself.

The "regardless of others" bit is what can make it harmful. I, by default, tend to be more of a caretaker and people pleaser and will often put others' needs before mine. 

I have slowly been outgrowing that habit.

Diplomat's daughter. It's taking some time. LOL. 

But sometimes I struggle with saying what I want and how I want to do it. I have a fear of being perceived as selfish and inconsiderate of others' feelings.

It's funny being a bride because this is a time where I get to be selfish. I get to do things the way I want to do them (for the most part). This is MY wedding. I am only doing this once.

And as I approach my Bachelorette Weekend this weekend, I need to remind myself that it is OK to be selfish. I am going to go and have fun with some important women in my life and let them take care of ME. I am not going to worry about taking care of them (as much as that is my default!) and just enjoy myself and be in pleasure. Indulge a bit. Maybe even A LOT. 😃 

Actually, it's more about receiving than anything else. Allowing myself to receive their love and generosity. Such a challenge sometimes!

What is also a challenge is that it is in Las Vegas. 

I have never been.

37 years old and never been to Vegas?!?!

I know, I know...

So, I'm excited.

I am not sure what to expect, but expect to have a good time.

But a part of me is feeling sad. And a bit of guilt for having a good time with all the tragedy that has happened there recently. I have a bit of a heavy heart around that still.

So I will allow space for both. Space for the pleasure and space for feeling a little sad if I need to. Yin and yang. Balance. 

But mostly pleasure in this instance.

And BE SELFISH. I spend most of my days being selfless, being a teacher and all. Now it's time to balance that out, too.

Let's go Vegas! And fun girl-time shenanigans!

Today's shoulder workout:

Do what makes you happy.

Take time to be selfish. 

#я також

I love FB for connecting with people and seeing what they're doing and their kids and cute cat photos and inspirational quotes and funny memes and silly videos...

But man. Scrolling through and seeing all the #metoo (#я також in Ukrainian) posts has been heart breaking. 

Truly. Breaks my heart right open. 

I was also someone who posted #metoo on their wall in solidarity because I too have been affected by sexual assault and harassment.

It is something I repressed for a long long time until my emotions (and body) forced me to finally look at it and do the healing work I wasn't ready for before. The body is incredible and will build defenses to get through trauma. For survival. But at some point, those defenses no longer serve and healing needs to happen on a deep level.

So I did just that. It is ugly, hard, messy, nasty, painful work. But I did it. And stumbled upon a body-based therapy which helped me begin the process to heal and unify my body, mind and spirit.

"Healing is not an overnight process. It is a daily cleansing of pain, 

it is a daily healing of your life."

~Leon Brown

That being said, I met a lot of people who have been abused in all different ways. Physically. Sexually. Emotionally. Psychologically. Major and minor ways. Multiple and single instances. Obvious and subtle.

They have been abused.

And they have been abusers. 

That was my big "aha!" moment. 

Something I had never considered: abusers have also been abused.

And that is often the root of why they abuse. They may not know it. It may not be conscious. (and I am also very aware for the people for whom it is very conscious and malicious.)

They are just little children still in their pain trying to reclaim their power. Reclaim the power that was taken away from them. Trying to hide their vulnerability. Trying to protect themselves. Trying to survive. 

A lot of the time (most of the time), they haven't done the "work" they need to to heal those parts. 

And then they become adults and that pain gets acted out in a very distorted way. 

Sometimes they have only seen abuse modeled at home. They didn't grow up in a loving environment.

I'm not saying this to justify their actions. Absolutely not. What they have done is wrong.

But just to better understand where it comes from. To hold compassion for that little girl or little boy that is just scared and in a lot of pain. That little girl or little boy whose adult self cannot fully love them in this moment and take care of them. 

(and all the social messaging that boys get about "boys don't cry" and "be tough" and "no pain, no gain" and "be a man!" ... no wonder they have trouble accessing those parts that need to be healed!)

It's just another lens to see it through.

It helps me understand it better and try to wrap my head around all the terrible headlines we see.

We are in a world filled with A LOT of pain.

Bad things happen to good people.

It sucks.

Bad things may have happened to you, too. 

And for that I am truly sorry. 

You are not alone. Lots of #metoos for many many things out there.

And this is truly a call to action to repair our mental health system and to take better care of the mental health of our fellow global citizens. Because that is the root of the problem. Not guns. It's the person using the gun. Not the act of abuse. It's the person doing the abuse. 

Sorry for this downer of a post. 

On that happy note ... today's leg workout:

Be happy.

Do what makes you happy.

Manic Monday...

Oh, Monday.

It's so easy to hate you.

Right?

After a weekend that is supposed to leave you feeling relaxed (well, that's the ideal at least...), in comes Monday. And almost immediately we feel the stress of the looming week ahead. Unless it's a holiday weekend. LOL. 

The struggle is real. I get it.

I try my best to maintain a positive attitude about Mondays, as much as I am #notafan of them either. 

What helps me?

Well, posting something positive on social media.

I might not be totally digging it in the moment, but fake it till you make it, right?

That's my motto when it comes to Mondays.

And then I Googled "motivation monday articles" I came across this article: 

"7 Monday Morning Habits of Highly Successful People".

Sounds very Stephen Covey-esque.

And guess what? 

I do 5 out of the 7 things already! Very cool. Pat on the back for me. 

And it's all part of my morning routine which I talked about here.

I also have a 22-25 minute commute to work and listen to two podcasts. One is "Up First" by NPR. I don't like to read the news and just prefer to listen to it. Just to make sure nothing crazy happened that I need to be aware of.

The other is "The Daily Boost" by Motivation to Move. This is a subscribtion podcast I have been a member of for YEARS. I am a life-time member, really. It really sets the tone for my day. And I love Scott & Joi Smith. Awesome people. 

And if there's time, or if I need it for all 22-25 minutes, I listen to music that pumps me up.

Like this:

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:

So, don't worry about Monday. I know it can be tough. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Put a smile on your face.

Fake it till you make it.

It'll be aaaaaaaaall good...

Today's back workout:

Keep calm and Monday on.

Do what makes you happy.