"Goals transform a random walk into a chase..."

I am motivated by goals.

It's what gets me going.

Gets me to do the things.

And coffee.

That also helps.

LOL.

But all joking aside, goals are what inspire me.

"Setting goals is the first step to turning the invisible into the visible." ~Tony Robbins

And I've done a lot of that. 

Practicing the piano? (which I consider different than just sitting down to play) I will only do it if I'm working towards something (learning a new piece of music #Rach3foraRock, practicing for a recital or show, etc.).

Working out? It's something I do pretty regularly because it makes me feel good. But I'll stay more motivated if I'm working towards something (a fitness goal, figure competition, race, etc.).

Reading educational stuff? Only if it interests me and/or is for a class. LOL.

I was talking to my therapist the other day (***) and she asked me, "How does it feel to know that once you set your mind on something you really want to do, you accomplish it?"

(***side note: I believe in the importance of mental health and having someone in that field to talk to. Just like we workout with personal trainers even when we are in good shape, I believe in continuing to take care of your mental health even if you are not in crisis or going “through” anything)

I thought about it a bit, to see if what she was stating was actually true. 

And it was.

It feels pretty darn good. 

Damn good, actually.

It feels amazing to accomplish something you have set your mind (and heart) to do and take the necessary steps to meet that goal. 

When my brother joined the Marine Corps in 2005, I decided to run the Marine Corps Marathon in his honor. This was my first marathon. My first road race for that matter. I had never run before. But it was something I really wanted to do. And I did it.

In 2008, I set the goal to complete an Ironman triathlon before I turned 30. And that's what I did. I hired a coach, learned how to properly swim and bike, and completed an Ironman within 15 months (at the age of 29! Plenty of time to spare!).

In 2016, this guy I met on Tinder challenged me to learn a crazy piece of piano music (Rachmaninov's 3rd Piano Concerto, or "Rach3") in exchange for a diamond ring. And I did. And now we are married. (check out this post for that story...it’s a good one!)

And now I have a new goal. If you read my post from the other day, you may already have an inkling as to what it is. 

Yup. I'm going after it. Because it is something I really want to do. And I also really enjoy the process of getting there.

What do you want to do? 

What do you want to achieve?

Set goals and figure out the steps to get there.

But remember, the most important part is enjoying the process along the way.

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." ~Zig Ziglar

Speaking of which, the last few days workouts in "happy n' fit" fashion:

Set goals that inspire you.

Do what makes you happy.

"We have two ears and one mouth..."

I recently found myself in a meeting at work where we were doing some problem-solving. Admin was there and leading the conversation, which included a lot of storytelling to propose some possible solutions. I didn’t say a whole lot as I was mainly listening and didn't feel there was anything I felt I needed to add in the moment.

As we were wrapping things up, a comment was made about me needing to find my voice. It was an off hand-ish comment in a joking “I noticed you didn’t say a whole lot” kind of way. I didn’t take it personally. I know myself well and my tendency to listen and not talk a whole lot. But even as a joke, it was slightly frustrating to me, especially coming from an educator. It was a joke that insinuated that I need to “find” my voice because I chose to listen and not speak.

This diagram illustrates how I operate perfectly:

This year I am challenging myself to read more. 52 books in 52 weeks. I have been doing pretty well so far (I'm on my 24th book in my 20th week! Woohoo!). One of the books I read was quite powerful: “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain.

I love this quote:

"There's zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas."

and 

"We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally."

Yes. Yes. YES!

I think introverts are often mislabeled as being "too quiet" or "not having a voice" because we don't talk as much as extroverts. 

It is often the exact opposite. There is plenty for us to say, we are just processing and choosing the right moment to say it. And, quite honestly, people who talk too much just don't give us an opportunity to insert ourselves into the conversation and say what we need to say. Or at least that's what it feels like.

Introverts, how many of you have been in this situation: 

You have a thought or idea that you want to share but the person you are in "conversation" with just keeps talking and by the time they pause, ever so slightly, what you were going to say is no longer relevant or the topic has been completely changed. ARGH. So frustrating! 

"Introverts are word economists in a society suffering from verbal diarrhea." ~Michaela Chung

#truth

Don't be ashamed if you are more a listener than a talker.

You have a voice.

Some people just love the sound of their voice so much that they forget to allow time to hear yours. It's OK. They're not bad people.They just have a habit of talking. A lot.

"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something." ~Plato

Do what makes you happy.

Especially if it means being quiet. 

Spartan Race Reflection

I tried something new this past weekend. 

I completed my first obstacle course race. Of the Spartan variety.

I know. Very exciting.

It was a Stadion version of their Sprint distance at the Nationals Stadium in DC. Super cool. 3 miles and 20 obstacles (or 21-22 depending on who you ask!), lots of stair climbing and behind-the-scenes access to the stadium. And no mud or jumping over fire. 😉 

I was initially inspired by a social media post I saw by one of the 3rd grade teachers at my school. She mentioned she was training for a Spartan race and I thought "Wow! That sounds really cool. I could totally see myself doing something like that..." We chatted about it and I convinced my husband to do it with me. #becausemarriage as he likes to put it. LOL!

I really really enjoyed the training for it. I was looking for a change and this turned out to be exactly what I needed. It was a lot of functional fitness stuff with running in between. 30 mins tops for most of it. I subscribed to the Spartan workout email and basically based all of my workouts off of that. 

Pretty straight forward, right?

I did all my running indoors (since I knew it wouldn't be trail running) on one of those TrueForm treadmills that requires that you do all the work. 

Love them. 

A lot of the time I added more to the circuit but basically made sure that I changed things up and kept my heart rate up.

The workouts were not easy. I was quite surprised.

And burpees? 

UGH.

If you can't complete and obstacle, you have to do 30 burpees before you continue the race (though at this Stadion version it turned out to be 15 ... no complaints here!). 

So I had to practice those, too. Not a fan.

I felt pretty prepared going into it. My husband wasn't really able to train for it but we agreed to stay together and finish together. So, I knew I might not be running my fastest, but that wasn't the point. The point was to have fun in the experience. Which we did.

I really enjoyed the vibe, too. Everyone seemed super cool, very supportive. And the swag? Awesome! They even had pet food vendors! Roman will be a very happy cat.

If you're not familiar with Spartan races, they generally come in 3 distances:

1. Sprint: 3+ miles, 20+ obstacles
2. Super: 8+ miles, 25+ obstacles
3. Beast: 13+ miles, 30+ obstacles

(There's also the Ultra, 26+ miles, 60+ obstacles ... but that's for really crazy people. And a few other additional crazy categories...)

If you complete a Sprint, Super and Beast within the same calendar year, you are considered to be part of the "Trifecta" club. Each medal comes with a 1/3 or "pie piece" of the Trifecta medal.

And you if complete all three, they complete the medal.

I'll admit, the wheels are turning in my head.

Because I can't do anything small. I mean, my first road race 14 years ago was a freakin' marathon (I had never seriously run before).

(2005)

And I completed an Ironman within 15 months of getting into triathlons (and really learning how to swim and bike).

(2009)

I wanted to get stronger and competed in a figure competition (not having ever lifted before).

(2014)

This was my first obstacle course race. Will I complete my Trifecta medal? 

Only time will tell...

Do what makes you happy. 

Rediscovered loves...

I recently rediscovered one of my loves.

My love for reading.

I decided to challenge myself to read 54 books this year. I barely read 10 last year. Maybe 12.

It’s January 21st and I am already starting my 6th book!

I LOVE READING.

I didn’t always used to love reading.

In fact, I remember not liking reading AT ALL in elementary school. And being compared to friends who enjoyed reading and adults wondering why I couldn’t be more like them.

Ugh. Frustrating. 

It has taken me awhile to get to a place where I can read “for fun.” For so much of my adult life I was reading non-fiction, reference books, educational books, personal development books, learning, learning, learning. To read something “for fun” seemed like a waste of time.

Silly mindest, I know.

But here I am now. 

I just finished the Harry Potter series.

I have a list of “Want to Read” books on GoodReads which is primarily fiction. (yey, me!)

I’m done with “learning.”

I want to be in the pleasure of reading a book. 

Get lost in a story. 

Spend all night reading a book again.

Well, maybe not… 😉 

But this cuddly guy has certainly made things more enjoyable... 

A fun side effect I am noticing: I spend less time reading news and being mindless on the internet and social media and more time reading.

I know. It’s awesome!

The Kindle is my savior. So is the Kindle app. Because I can use my phone to read. And that’s what keeps me off the mindless-ness. 

Bored in line at the grocery store? Read a book.

Waiting for your next class to come? Read a book.

Waiting for your husband to bring you coffee in bed? (I know, I’m spoiled…) Read a book.

Even though my phone has notified me that my screen time has gone up, I know why. And it’s A-Okay.

I just finished reading Trevor Noah’s book, Born a Crime (AMAZING!!! GO READ IT NOW!!!) and this one quote really caught my attention:

“If you add up ho much you read in a year on the Internet — tweets, Facebook posts, lists — you’ve read the equivalent of a shit ton of books, but in fact you’ve read no books in a year.”

Wow.

Just wow.

Spot on.

Now. That’s not to say I still don’t want to “learn”. 

In fact, two of the 5 books I have completed reading so far have been non-fiction. One about birds and one about fertility. All things I am currently interested in.

But I think one of my goals is to not only broaden my reading horizons but to also challenge myself to get into the habit of reading for pleasure.

Anyone reading this post, I am open to any and all book recommendations!

Random side note: my happynfit tradition of including workouts will commence soon. Just not in this post. Stay tuned for my most recent workout plan in the next post!

In the meantime, enjoy reading!

Do what makes you happy.

"The bad news is time flies..."

"...The good news is you're the pilot."

~Michael Altshuler

I swear the school year just started. 

And then it was well underway.

Rosh Hashana. Yom Kippur. (I'm getting into the groove with the Fall Jewish holidays...)

Halloween.

Thanksgiving.

Hanukkah.

And now Christmas.

I feel like once Halloween hits, everything goes by in the blink of an eye!

And the New Year is quickly upon us. 

I tend to get pretty reflective around this time of year, thinking about the past year, things I want to do and accomplish in the upcoming year. 

This past year has been pretty spectacular. You can get a glimpse of that in my more recent blog posts here and here.

2018 was very good to me. 

But 2019 has much in store as well.

We just started a kitchen renovation which is bound to take longer than expected. (At least everyone who has been through any type of renovation continues to warn us of this -- LOL!) Michael and I are both super excited to complete this amazing project. The kitchen of my his dreams. It makes me happy when he's happy. 🙂 

All the entertaining and parties we will finally be able to host...very exciting!

I can't help but think about the other things that are in store for me/us in the new year. The things yet to explore and do. 

Believe it or not, I've actually tried to ease up on my intense goal setting. 

You know, like complete an Ironman (a goal I set back in 2008 and completed in 2009).

Or do a bodybuilding competition (another goal I set in 2013 and completed later that year).

Or learn Rachmaninov's 3rd Piano Concerto (a goal I set in 2015 and completed early in 2016). 

LOL.

I want to do things less intense.

Like read more. 

I am considering a Book Challenge. Like 52 Books in 52 Weeks.

Well, maybe I should start with with 24 books a year. 

52 books might be overly ambitious considering I've never done that before. We'll see.

But I want to read fun stuff. Things I wouldn't normally read.

Fitness-wise, I'm not planning to do any bodybuilding competitions (though people keep asking). I want to keep up with my strength training but I also want to try things I have never done before.

Like rock climbing.

Or AcroYoga.

Those both sound super fun to me. 

I might do another piano recital. Perhaps. We'll see.

I'm sure Michael and I will find another exciting place to travel to over the summer (people keep asking about that).

And expanding the current Rosenberg household. (I'm thankful people don't continuously ask about that! LOL!)

Because Facebook predicted it ... 

(I'm sure that's solely based on the fact that my profile picture is of me in my wedding dress...ha!)

Whatever 2019 brings, I'm sure it will be amazing. And I'm sure I will look back a year from now and think to myself, "Gee, where did the time go?"

"The most beautiful moments always seemed to accelerate and slip beyond one’s grasp just when you want to hold onto them for as long as possible.” 

~ E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

Do what makes you happy.

First year of marriage: A reflection

Michael and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary a week ago. 

I still can’t believe one year has gone by since we said our "I dos" to each other. 

And what a year it has been!

We honeymooned in Portugal.

Sold our condo.

Bought a house.

Spent 6 weeks in Australia & New Zealand.

And just started a kitchen renovation.

We have been through a lot of stress-invoking situations (buying/selling a house, travel, spending lots of money...LOL!) but survived it…with grace. 

And the reality is, we've only known each other for 3 years. We had been together 2 years and a day by the time we got married. So there are still things we are learning about each other. All the little habits. The day-to-day stuff that no one else gets to see.

As I reflect upon why this has been working so well (because it truly has!), here are a few things that come to mind that I feel are contributing to our continued wedded bliss:

1. Do stuff together. Be active. Travel.

We both LOVE traveling and take every opportunity we can to explore new places. Both of us having a teacher's schedule certainly has its perks! I love bonding over the experiences we have when we travel, whether it be internationally or domestically. But whatever it is we are doing, whether it be travel or lounging around watching Netflix and drinking wine, our relationship is at its best when we have that quality time. 

2. Do stuff apart.

This is also super important. For both of us. But for Mrs. Introvert over here, I replenish best when I am alone. As much as I love my husband, sometimes I just don't want to talk (to anyone!) and need peace and quiet. At the same time, we still keep up with the things we used to do before we met. I think that is equally important, if not more so at times. You don't have to do everything together. A sense of autonomy and being "you" outside of the relationship is so so important. And healthy.

3. Keep your traditions. Have rituals.

One of our long-standing dating rituals was (and still is) "date night". We spent weekends together and chose one night during the week to have date night so we could see each other. And we still keep up with that tradition. It's a great way to reconnect in the middle of the week and also ensures that we get that quality time together. Because there is always "stuff" to do that can get in the way of spending time together.

4. Share responsibilities.

For our 3rd date, my husband invited me over to his place to cook me dinner. He admits that he was trying to impress me that night. And he absolutely did. But I came away from it thinking “I will never cook for this man. Ever.” And I haven’t. LOL! He cooks, I clean. That’s our “deal”. Though we help each other out with the cleaning (we are home owners now!) and other responsibilities.

5. Hang out with people whose presence both you and your partner mutually enjoy and respect. 

Find your marriage tribe. The people you both enjoy hanging out with. Whether it's a group of friends or other couple friends you can double date with. There's nothing like surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you both and respect the commitment you've made to each other. 

6. Talk about stuff.

Make sure you have an open line of communication. My husband will openly admit that I am a little better at bringing stuff up if something is bothering me (this has taken me years of lesson-learning through mistakes!). Though my one downfall is timing. I'm not always the best at that. LOL. But our open communication and ability to talk about anything and feel supported is what has kept our connection so strong. Those uncomfortable conversations. Talking about how we feel and why we feel that way (without blame or finger pointing) has continued to strengthen our bond and bring us closer together. 

7. Laugh. Be silly.

My husband is very silly. Sillier than I am. But in his eyes I am quite weird. So we laugh. A LOT. With each other. At each other. It keeps things light and easy. Even in the serious moments.

8. Take care of yourself. Take care of each other. 

In order for you to be your best for your spouse, you need to take care of you first. Again, not always my forte, but something I am getting better at. And he can read me so well now. A perfect example: he knows that a packed weekend full of social commitments will leave me feeling depleted rather than replenished. So we find a nice balance of socializing and “doing nothing-ness” which leaves Mr. Extrovert and Mrs. Introvert happy and balanced.

Love is ever evolving. I can’t wait to see what our second year of marriage brings! 

Do what makes you happy. 

Moving the energy

It has been a challenging past few weeks for me. It's something I have been able to compartmentalize pretty well. But the recent focus in the political news has really gotten to me on a very deep level. All for reasons I am fully aware of and have done lots of healing work around, but it still doesn't make it easy. Especially the divisiveness and heated emotions around it all. Not to mention it was in the news ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. It was pretty hard to escape.

I was noticing feelings of agitation, anger and even hatred at some points. Very odd for me as these are not common feelings I experience. I felt lots of pent up energy. And felt it had no outlet. 

And then I read this quote from one of my daily readings (coming at exactly the right time, as always!): 

"If I didn't feel the feeling, listen to myself, my body would pound out the pain until it was heard that way. Energy needs to be discharged somewhere. If it isn't discharged, the body will absorb and feel it as pain ... Our body is part of us. It is us. It holds the scars of our life to date, the stories of our life so far; it contains the wisdom and energy of what we need today and tomorrow ... Honor your connection to your body. Honor and value your body's wisdom."

All things I know, but man was this a great reminder!

Feel the feelings. Listen to your body. Honor your body.

Check.

But what was missing was actually doing something with my body. I had gotten out of my exercise routine and realized that this was also affecting my emotional health. 

So I started a new program to keep myself accountable.

[even us "disciplined" folks get in a rut...]

And low and behold, I started feeling better!

The feelings were still there, of course, but at least I felt that I energetically had an outlet. 

Lifting weights is great for that.

I also ran a 10 mile race to support my husband. Neither of us had trained for it, but I managed through it pretty well. I was happy to discover that keeping up with functional fitness does not result in a near-death experience on the race course. LOL!

I even had a "moment" which I haven't had in a long time. A moment of realizing how much I love running. And finally have a desire to get back into it again...

So, here's to moving energy in the way that works best for you.

Hitting the gym. Attending a group fitness class. Running. Hiking. Yoga. 

Listen to your body. Listen to you emotions.

Honor it all. 

And do what you need to do to take care of YOU. 

Physically moving does not clear it all out (I am no stranger to digging deep and doing the "work"), but it certainly does help. 

Figure out what works best for you.

For me it's lifting heavy, running sprints, TaeBo, hiking and yardio. (I get lots of thinking time in mowing that lawn!)

[with Billy Blanks!]

Do what makes you happy.

And honor yourself all along the way.