Happy, Fit 'n Free: Spartan Super Palmerton Race Recap (with obstacles galore!)

"Super Trouper lights are gonna find me ..."

Yes, I'm a music geek. (and it doesn't help that I played in the pit of "Mamma Mia!" earlier this year)

But when I think of a Spartan Super, that's what pops in my brain first. What can I say?

But onto the race ...

Last weekend, I completed my first Spartan Super (8-ish miles, 25+ obstacles). I had done a Sprint in May (3-ish miles, 21 obstacles), but it was clean. In a baseball stadium. No mud. No elements to navigate. No heat.

This one was messy, hot, and hilly.

No joke. I was unaware that this was one of the hardest, if not the hardest, Super in the country.

I mean these were the memes popping up...

And when you added the sun...

It wasn't part of the "Mountain Series" for nothing.

The course was literally going up and down a mountain ski slope. Multiple times. Sometimes carrying things. Sometimes not. Sometimes needing a rope to get up steep inclines. Sometimes crawling on your hands and knees.

It was tough. There was no "running" happening. Not for me at least. All climbing.

So in this case, it took longer than a Super might normally take. Pros were doing it in 2 1/2 hours. It took me 3 hours longer than that.

People often ask, "What kind of obstacles do you have to do?"

ALL KINDS.

It just depends. This one had 29. They change it up every year so you don't know until race day what you are getting yourself into.

So let me take you through the actual course. I couldn't find pictures of all the obstacles from this particular race, but you'll get the basic idea.

You generally get one shot at an obstacle. If you can't complete it, 30 burpees.

That's right.

THIRTY. BURPEES.

So here we go!

Palmerton Super 2019!

Here is a course map and list of obstacles:

Over Walls

Hurdles

Sandbag Carry

This was the hardest obstacle. The incline (check out th 1407' elevation gain!). The heat. You went down and then back up the mountain. 40 lbs for ladies/ 60 lbs for men. People were dropping like flies. It was BAD. You begin to question your life choices at this point.

Z-Walls

Tricky business.

7 foot Wall

Olympus

I lovely lady volunteered to assist me on this one. I was really struggling with keeping my feet on the wall and slipping down. I made it halfway across until things got bad. She basically put her back on my butt and supported me as I made across the rest of it. I was very close to burpees on this one!

Pipe Lair

This is a newer obstacle. You just crawl through the middle of it. Super fun.

The Box

Another new obstacle I couldn't really find good pictures for. Basically, you have to climb up a rope on a vertical 8 foot wall and make your way over. There's a ladder on the other side.

Stairway to Sparta

You have to get up the wall and then up the ladder. Tricky business indeed.

Bender

This one was also tricky. You have to latch onto that first bottom bar and make your way over the other side. This one really scared me. Once you are at the top, you have to carefully navigate yourself over that top bar but at this weird angle (thus "bender"). I have a fear of heights and had an "OMG, OMG, OMG..." moment up there.

Twister

The bars twist. I did not make this one. 30 burpees for me.

Atlas Carry

You have to pick up and carry this super heavy and awkward rock, put it down, do 5 burpees, pick it back up and go back to where you started.

Rope Climb

I just haven't mastered the technique for this one yet. 30 more burpees for me. (60 total)

Monkey Bars

OK, this just wasn't fair. These monkey bars were super far apart and I couldn't even reach the next bar. I didn't have enough momentum in my hips to propel myself forward. 30 burpees. (90 total)

Inverted Wall

Beater

It's hard to tell from the picture, but these bars rotate. I slipped off right away. More burpees (120 total).

Apehanger

I didn't even attempt this one. I know, I know. But seriously. I saw the water and did not feel like getting soaked. You have to climb up a slippery, muddy rope to get to the hanging bars. It's hard to see, but they actually go up and then go back down. Really really tough obstacle. 30 burpees. (120 total)

I just want to take a moment to not forget all the running/climbing up and down the ski slopes that is happening in between all this...

Someone has a good sense of humor...

On with the obstacles...

Rolling Mud

You traverse over several mud hills and very large puddles.

Slip Wall

Super slippery after all that mud!

Water Crossing

In case you weren't wet enough already!

A-Frame Cargo

Vertical Cargo

You can't see it in the picture, but you had to jump up onto a really high platform in order to access the cargo. A lot of people struggled with that.