Our rabbi recently reached out to us asking for a copy of our wedding program since she was working with an interfaith couple and wanted to share it with them. I dug it up and read over it again, reminded of the beautiful and very special ceremony we created.
I'll be honest. I was nervous. I wasn't sure what it would look like. Being more connected to my Ukrainian heritage than my Catholic roots, I had a fear that it would be a mainly Jewish wedding since Michael was more strongly connected to his Jewish roots. I wanted to find a healthy balance between the two and feel comfortable that my faith was represented in the ceremony.
And I believe we did just that. I/We LOVED our ceremony in the end. With the help of this awesome book and other online resources and insights from spiritual mentors, it all magically came together.
We had a rabbi AND a priest which was just incredible. We actually never met with them together. As in, at the same time. Always separately. We met with our priest on Saturdays and our rabbi on Sundays (for obvious reasons! LOL). But they had done interfaith ceremonies together in the past, so we trusted they would be able to pull it off. Our rabbi assured us that this priest was a perfect fit for what we were looking for -- and indeed he was!
So I am just going to directly copy and paste (it will appear in a different font) our program to share what we came up with.
All photo credits go to the amazing Stephanie Rita.
First, our program...
And our venue: The Josephine Butler Parks Center in Washington, DC.
Our wedding day is a collection of Jewish and Ukrainian customs and traditions. The wedding ceremony is broken down into different parts and this program was created to help enhance your understanding of each. Please enjoy!
Before the Ceremony
Blahoslovennia -- The Parents Bestow their Blessing
This is a Ukrainian tradition which takes place before the ceremony and is limited to the families and close friends of the bride and groom. The bride’s parents present the icons to the couple and provide their blessings and best wishes for the marriage before they head to the ceremony. The blessed icons will be on display at the reception.
Ketubah
The Ketubah is a marriage contract, required by Jewish law, attesting to the commitments and obligations Larissa and Michael make to each other as a married couple. It is one of the oldest elements of Jewish weddings, dating back over two thousand years. Prior to the ceremony, the Ketubah was signed by Larissa and Michael, witnessed by close friends and family.
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We had an amazing artist do our ketubah and changed the text so it would fit us.
Our witnesses signed it (who both happened to be lawyers), then Michael, then me, then the rabbi...
Whoops!!!
I accidentally signed in the rabbi spot rather than the bride spot. The photographer caught the whole thing...it was awesome.
And we remedied it pretty quickly. Our witness lawyers said it was legal. :)
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One of my favorite parts was picking out the music. We hired an awesome band and the same group had a pianist for our ceremony, jazz trio for our cocktail hour and 7-piece band for our reception. It was perfect. This is the music that was playing as guests were being seated.
(Click on the purple links to hear the music.)
Prelude music
The bride carefully selected music she felt would best represent herself and Michael. It includes their love for movies as well as classical composers representing the countries where Larissa has lived.
“Once Upon a December” from Anastasia
18th Variation from Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini by Sergei Rachmaninov
“Han Solo and the Princess” from The Empire Strikes Back
“Ländler” from The Sound of Music
Nocturne No. 2 in E-flat major by Frederic Chopin
The Ceremony
Processional
“Pathétique” Sonata Ludwig van Beethoven
Adagio cantabile
(Michael and his aunt and uncle)
(My mom and brother)
(Michael's dear friends)
(Michael's college friend and my cousin)
(My brother and childhood friend)
(Best Man & Matron of Honor)
Bridal Processional
Please stand.
Bacarolle Frederic Chopin
(So my jokester musician side actually had the pianist play the opening bars of "Gonna Fly Now" from Rocky and then switch to the Chopin for my grand bridal entrance. It was LEGEND-ARY.)
The Chuppah
Larissa and Michael will be married under a wedding canopy known as a chuppah, which symbolizes the home that they will build together. The chuppahrests on four poles, yet has no walls, reflecting the idea that family and friends will always be welcome in their home.
The canopy of the chuppah includes the prayer shawls (tallit) of both Michael’s parents and a Ukrainian rushnyk from Larissa’s parents.
The rushnyk
A Ukrainian embroidered towel (rushnyk) is spread underneath the Chuppah on which the couple will stand. The use of the rushnyk symbolized the hope that the newlyweds will never face poverty or "stand on a bare earthen floor".
Tradition dictates that whomever steps on the towel first will be the head of the family. Of course, Ukrainian folk wisdom declares that the man is always the head of the family - but it is the woman that is the neck that turns the head!
Hakafat – Circling
Seven Circles - There are several interpretations of the significance of this number: seven is the number of days of creation, and the wedding ceremony is the creation of a new household; seven is the number of times the phrase “when a man takes a wife” occurs in the Bible.
Blessing of Betrothal – Kiddushin
The Kiddushin begins with the recitation of opening blessings. The first is the blessing over wine. Larissa and Michael will share a cup of wine, a Jewish symbol of joy and the sanctification of a celebratory time. The second blessing expresses the sacredness of the marital bond.
Ring Exchange
Following these blessings, Larissa and Michael will exchange rings. Michael’s ring was made by his father; it coordinate with another ring he made that Michael's granny wore and which Lariss will wear on her right hand. The exchange of rings gives expression to the fact that the spouses in marriage will constantly complement each other and work together handily to achieve oneness and togetherness. As the rings are circles with no beginning and no end, they symbolize that Larissa and Michael’s love is never ending.
(a closer look of the rings ... on top of our wedding favors)
Wedding Vows
(we both wrote our own ... it was beautiful!)
Crowning
A beautiful and sacred segment of a Ukrainian wedding ceremony is the Crowning. The crowns symbolize that they will the king and queen of their own family kingdom – ruling side by side.
Hand Fasting
During the ceremony, the hands of the bride and groom are joined together with an embroidered cloth to signify their union. This ribbon was made by bridesmaid, Anna Coon, integrating both Ukrainian and Jewish embroidery.
Ketubah Reading
A portion of Michael and Larissa’s Ketubah will be read.
Seven Blessings
The sheva brachot (seven blessings) symbolize the seven days of creation. The blessings represent the joy of creation both in the ancient times and the newest creation, which occurs under the chuppah. The wedding party will be reading seven readings representing these blessings.
Priestly Blessing
The kohanim can trace their patriarchal lineage back to Moses' brother Aaron. They were the high priests of the Temple in Jerusalem. It is traditional for the kohanim to recite this blessing on certain holidays; it is alos often recited at celebrations by a rabbi. Michael is a kohen, and will recite the blessing in Hebrew. Father Mudd will recite the English.
Breaking of the Glass
The ceremony concludes with Michael stepping on a glass and breaking it. Traditionally this custom is a reminder of the destruction of the first temple and the many losses that have been suffered by the Jewish people. It is also a reminder that relationships are as fragile as glass, and must always be treated with care and love. A more contemporary interpretation is that the sound of the breaking glass travels through time and space to share the couples’ joy with all who have loved them, including those separated by time and distance. The sound signals all assembled to join together and joyously wish the new couple “mazel tov!”
Mazel Tov
Mnohaya Lita
From there, all the guests will join in song to wish the couple “many happy years.” There are only two words, which are repeated several times, mnohaya lita (mno-high-uh lee-tah), so this is a great opportunity to learn a little Ukrainian.
Recessional
“Married Life” from Up
And that's a wrap! Our wedding ceremony in a nutshell. I promise to get to the reception and post-party shenanigans another time. Thanks for reading and allowing me to share with you our version of a Jewish/Ukrainian wedding!
Do what makes you happy.
